Fostering and adoption offer many routes to happiness

Published: Monday 21 February 2022

An adult and two young children in a playpark.

“It was a long road and of course it hasn’t been easy, but it is without doubt the best thing we have ever done.”

So says one of the many adoptive parents in South Lanarkshire, and she has no hesitation in recommending the experience to anyone considering any of the variety of opportunities available to couples interested in fostering and adoption.

Along with her partner, she took on the care of two young boys more than four years ago and is able to reflect on that time with a realistic eye, and a grateful one.

“They are brothers,” she said, “and we felt it was vital to them that we were able to give them the opportunity to remain together and grow up together.

“We got married in August 2016 and we knew we wanted to be parents. We ordered the information pack from the council website and two months later we were in the process!

“We had great assistance from our case worker, who helped us every step of the way, and we met the boys when they were just one week old.”

The couple, who wish to remain anonymous to avoid upset to the boys’ birth mother, fostered the children for almost two years before adopting them.

“That was what suited our situation best,” she said, “and although it was emotionally difficult at times, knowing that the boys could go back to their birth parent at any stage, it has worked for us and we have built a wonderful life with our sons.”

Jan Strain, Adoption and Fostering Manager at South Lanarkshire Council, agreed that there were many routes to helping children and enriching their and the carers’ lives.

She said: “There are as many situations as there are people willing to enter this way of life – some suit fostering, some adoption and some, as in this case, one followed by the other.

“The traditional view of children who are adopted or fostered as babies does still exist, of course, but there is a need for so much more than that now.

“For instance, we have people who move into foster caring in their retirement, often taking on young people who are moving towards adult life and giving them the skills and confidence they need to live independently.

‘Another example are children over the age of five or teenagers who need foster or adoptive parents for the first time in their lives – in fact, this is an area where there is a great need for carers at the moment, and one that often suits prospective foster or adoptive parents who would prefer not to undertake the baby and toddler years but are more comfortable with these later stages.

“It means that there really is a situation that suits all prospective carers and we would encourage anyone who is contemplating it to talk to us to find out if it is something that they would like to take further.

“The situation is one that naturally evolves all the time and so it is always worth chatting to us to find out what is possible – for instance, one of the priorities we now have is to keep siblings together wherever possible, and that is why this situation with these two wee brothers is so inspirational in the success it has been for them and their new parents.”

The boys’ adoptive mother couldn’t agree more. “It is not only great to see how the two of them are now, but also to look back on how they have developed and grown. Of course it has been difficult – what parent would ever say it never is hard? But the rewards outweigh the struggles so much.

“They had health issues at the start, but they got through them, and have grown into two typically active wee boys. We took photos of them every month for their first year and it was amazing to see a marked progression in them at every single stage then. And when we look at those pictures now, it is astounding how much more they have progressed.

“They each have their own personality and they deal with things differently, but part of being a parent for anyone is learning what each child needs, and when they have got past each difficulty, the feeling is beyond words.

“For example, they are at nursery now and at the start they struggled emotionally with it, but to see the two of them now go there, building relationships and singing and laughing is so rewarding and lovable.

“We are so glad we took that decision to get in touch in the first place those years ago, because we look at life with the boys now and it’s the only life we can imagine for them and us.”

Anyone wishing to explore their options on fostering or adoption, or just wanting to find out whether it might be something that would interest them, can do so through the council’s website.